[She's fine with the moment of silence. It gives her a chance to try and pull herself together. She fails miserably at it but that's just feels like the theme of the month for her at this point.]
No, no, no.
[Gosh. It's a good thing she's kind of used to the both of them missing some sort of mark at this point.]
I - I woke up. Yesterday. For the first time since-
[Since she died. It was still hard to think about.]
-I got your letter. -And you said you'd understand if- And that's not what I wanted... I just focused on that.
W- what? No? That- that was because I literally tried to kill you.
[Oh, ow, that hurt to just... straight out say. He feels it wrench in his chest- he sucks in a shuddery breath, trying to keep it together. ]
Ruby, you dying is more important than anything else. It's- you can't just gloss over that. I know you like to do the putting everything aside to focus on other people thing, but this was a big one to ignore. I don't-
[He didn't want to learn that way. To watch it happen with no warning that it was coming. He's never going to get rid of that image rolling around in his head- of Neo stabbing her over and over. ]
Something happening to you would never not be important to me. I just - were you ever planning on telling me? Or would you have been happier me being kept in the dark?
[It's hard to say whether it hurts more to hear it, either way she just curls in harder on herself.]
Because I didn't take what was happening to either of you seriously enough. Because I couldn't save you from you dying. Because I couldn't get away from her after she warned me to avoid her this month. I couldn't stop her from dying either. It all boils back down to I couldn't do anything for anyone.
[Gosh it didn't make her feel any better to say it out loud. If just compounded how miserable it made her feel.]
I didn't mean to-
[She didn't want to live with the image of either of them dying either. To feel responsible in some shape or form for what happened to them, but here she was.]
I was... I was going to... I just needed a little time.
[He falls quiet again- she reminds him of Rapunzel so often- especially in times like this. Where she pushes and pushes and pushes herself to take care of everyone else, not realising she's destroying herself in the process. It's not a pleasant thing to witness in someone you care about, and he hates having to see it twice.]
Ruby. Who made it your job to do any of that? And don't tell me it's a Huntress thing because there's a lot of you here now and I don't see the rest of them tearing themselves apart trying to save literally everyone. You can't do it. You're just hurting yourself trying. You're not- you're not infallible and no one is expecting you to be.
[He worried that one day she is going to snap under the weight of all of the everything she puts herself under and then there will be no saving her at all. He lets out a slow, unsteady breath - putting aside all the hurt he's feeling to help her.]
You didn't mess anything up. It's- well, it's not okay. You still died and I had to find out in the worst way possible. But it's not- it doesn't change anything, okay? I still love you, nothing can change that. I'm just- I'm worried about you.
[She had done a poor job keeping herself quiet the last time around, this time was no better if not worse. She can't hide a few muffled sobs as she tries to hold back just outright breaking down here.]
...I made a promise to you both.
I made it my job to...
[It hits her like a ton of bricks that she couldn't be expected to just make everything right. There isn't much wind left in her sails to take out they're motionless now.]
But- I- I didn't want you to die. I had to do something.
[She doesn't really have a counter to it. He had pegged really well there. There's a sigh and she slowly moves to sit herself up on the bed.]
Okay.
I love you too.
I'm sorry, I should have told you right away. It's just been so hard.
[Oh, he can hear it and it breaks his heart. He wants to go to her, but he's absolutely certain he can't make it across town to her in his current state, and if he dies again, Fern will be apoplectic- and he's pretty sure Ruby wouldn't be thrilled either. ]
You did stop me. It was always going to end the way it did. I'm just grateful you got to me before I could actually kill anyone. Before I could kill you. Heck, I would have killed Jon if you hadn't shown up. You kept your promise there.
[It was... terrible what happened, but it's better than the alternative. ]
This whole month has been hard. [No avoiding that fact. He leans back on the headboard of his bed.] It's... just. Look, I have no place berating you for keeping secrets. Not after the Neo thing. [Though, damnit, if he had acted when he could, they wouldn't be having this conversation. ] I... I get it. I don't like it, but I get it.
[She definitely wouldn’t be thrilled if he tried something like that. She knew the condition he was in at the moment, she was in the same boat after all. She wanted to be next to him but it just couldn’t happen.
She considers his words and she pauses to let her breathing calm down. He had a point... She hated to admit it because it meant there was nothing she could have done to stop him from dying.
There’s a hint of relief at the thought that she had kept her promise. It wasn’t much but it was a step in the right direction.]
I did what I could... I didn’t want you to have that on your conscience. Not with everything else.
[She makes a small “hm” noise in agreement.
She pauses briefly than decides to turn the feed to video. She’s a mess, she hasn’t got much sleep and it’s obvious that on top of the crying that she’s sick as a dog. But there’s a hint of that familiar resolve in her eyes mixed with all the pain and remorse.
I know... it doesn’t mean much, but-
I didn’t mean to keep it from you. I don’t want to keep secrets from you. I just... reacted and I reacted really poorly.
I trust you and I want you to be able to trust me too.
I really, really appreciate you did. I don't think I can ever repay you for that and I- I understand what you had to sacrifice to help. I'm sorry you were forced into that corner.
[Genuinely, he is. He knows how much stock she puts in her faith in others, and the fact she had to take him down to save her own life must have hurt. That isn't lost on him. He flicks on his video feed in turn- he... really doesn't look all that much better. He's slept a little better, thanks to Fern's magical calm candle but the deathflu sure isn't abating any time soon.
He offers her a little smile all the same. ]
I do trust you. A lot more than most people here. And it's not like I didn't keep things from you, either. [What with the whole Neo poison and everything.] I- I think you're allowed to react poorly when you come back from the dead. Let's just... not any more, okay? Cards on the table, no more secrets.
Well... I didn't really do it expecting anything in return, so don't worry about it.
[She frowns. The last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt him. Seeing him like that and knowing the only way to stop him was with force had hurt more than she wanted to admit.]
I'll get by. If you say it helped then it was worth it as far as I'm concerned.
I'm sorry I had to... Well I'm sorry I had to do a lot of things that day.
[It does make her feel a bit better to see him alive and as well as one can be considering the deathflu. She had watched the trial but... Well she couldn't bring herself to say anything.]
It means the world to hear that right now, honestly.
Okay. No more secrets, I promise.
[There's a brief pause.]
I'm going to have to get a second table for cards. We kind of have a full house and that makes for a lot of birthday cards.
It's fine. It uh... doesn't hurt or anything now. Honest. It all healed up when I- [came back from the dead, he hesitates, looking up and the ceiling] yyyeah.
[He blinks, confused at how she got here. It takes him a few moments to go back through their conversation to find the turning she took to get her to this point. It gets a little snort of a laugh out of him.]
There is that. Pretty sure your house is full enough without surplus cards. I uh... met your uncle, by the way. Thankfully before everything went to hell in a handbasket. He seems - [DEEPLY TROUBLED] ... pretty cool.
[He doesn't follow that up. Scarred but not injured any more. That's how the resurrection game goes. It's better than staying dead, but it's... not comforting, either.]
It's fine, we can have multiple tables.
[And oh. Oh, he has made an error here, he can tell. He suddenly has so many regrets. ]
...I'm getting the impression that you like your uncle a lot.
[She is absolutely fine with dropping that topic like it's hot. Honestly she never thought much of scars before she got here. Her Aura tended to heal them before they got too bad. They were amassing a whole lot quicker here.]
Just a cute card table off to the side. That would be pretty cool.
[Her brighten up immensely.]
Who do you think taught me how me how to fight? And make weapons? And bend the rules. And all the best places to take. And helped me figure out what I wanted to do with my life. That's the guy.
[She manages to reign in it a little.]
He can be a little protective of me and Yang, but I hope you both got along.
[A smile does cross his face. This is... nice. That she had such a positive role model in her life. Someone she could look up to no matter what. It makes him miss Eugene. ]
We got along fine. We- uh, wandered around the labyrinth, saw some memories. Talked a lot.
[And Varian realised how deeply broken Qrow is, but he's broken in a way Varian can understand only too well.]
I don't think I made the worse impression ever. He didn't threaten me to not come near you again or anything.
Perfect! Should this count as it's first card? Or are we starting fresh? If so I'm gonna have to find something else to put on there. I'm not letting you beat me to it.
[The point of this card table.
Ruby's head.
She either doesn't realize or doesn't really care how much Varian and Qrow might have in common. Or she might just have a soft spot for the type.]
Yeah. The Labrynth seems like a place he'd hang out in. I'm glad you both got along at least.
...And you know what I'd say that's pretty high praise coming from him. Good job, bud!
I- Rubes that's- that's not- You know it's metaphorical, right?
[Honey.
HONEY.]
It was probably less fun with the fog and the traumatic memories and everything, but you know, it's Deerington. You kind of have to just accept the awful stuff at this point.
...N-no. [He's just gonna... gently put his face in his hands for a moment. Real soft like, and let out a gentle heh. He loves you so much, you adorable fucking lunatic. ] It means it's not real. Like imaginary.
Your idea of fun and my idea of fun when it comes to monsters is very different.
... I'm not even sure how I would be able to deal with that. He said his Sembelence is like... bad luck, right? Literally bad luck?
I still want to put the first card on it. Whether it's imaginary or not. My points still stands!
I know, I know. That's why we're working on your cardio. I get it.
[She chews on her lip thinking that one over.]
Yeah. That's his Semblance, but I don't think dealing with it is the right way to think about it.
It's a part of him but it's not the most important part. Underneath that grumpiest grouch exterior is probably the strongest, kindest and most compassionate person I know. Or he's at least in the top five. I don't know anyone who cares more about the people around him than he does and he'll talk like it's because he's worried about his Semblance, but it's so much more than that. He's so much more than that.
You... want to put the first card on the table. Okay? I think that really matters which of us gets something we really shouldn't keep from the other first.
Pass for the entirety of August on account of the fact I want to hide in my lab and avoid humanity.
[He just wants to be sad and hate himself for a little while okay. She talks about her uncle and it brings a soft smile to his face. That's the Ruby-est way to put that. Honestly, Varian felt he understood Qrow quite a bit after their conversation. There was a mutual mess there, under the surface. ]
I'm sure he appreciates that you think that. It probably helps him to hear it once in a while.
[With a terrifying doll tea party to troll her boyfriend. That's just who she is.]
Okay. Deal. That's fair. You're going to have to deal with me coming over still, if that's okay. I'm kind of some off shoot second time around humanity. That's gotta be an exception your plan.
[Look. She will use the forbidden knowledge she picked up to her own advantage. Varian was one of the few people she could really joke around that a bit with.]
I hope so. He's family. I couldn't look at him any other way.
[She pauses awkwardly, rubbing at the back of her head. She knew he was taking what happened over July hard. It's why she pushed away her own problems to try to help. It was a mistake but she was still trying her best to help.]
And... If it helps. I kind of feel the same way about you.
[He lets out a soft hum, tilting his head as if in deep thought.]
I suppose that does mean you count as not-regular humanity. I guess I can make an exception for you.
[His smile fades- just a fraction. It doesn't go away completely, it's just a little softer. A little sadder. He's really struggling to see the good in him after the mess of July. ]
...Thank you. I- it might take me a little longer to see that again. [Not that he was all that good at seeing it before this.] I love you, too.
[It would probably sound more ominous if she wasn’t doing a ridiculous voice.]
I’d appreciate it. Saves breaking and entering all the time.
[She sees his smile soften and she tries brighten hers up. It’s a little slower than normal. There’s been a lot of sadness this month she’s been trying to cope with.]
That’s fine. It’s okay to not be okay. A wise alchemist once said that. Just take it a step at a time. I’m here for you.
He lets out a slow breath. She's right, hell, he'd said it himself and he knows he was right, too. It's what he needs, right now, the chance to just not be okay for a little while. He's tired and sad and so very scared that this town could do this again. Bring out the worst in him and have him hurt the people he cares about again. ]
Y-yeah. I think I just need that for a little while. It was a really, really awful month. Thank you, I'll- well, I'll do my best to be there for you, too.
[As much of a goddamn mess he is at the moment, anyway. ]
It's not something that's going to fix itself over night. You're allowed to hurt.
It was... Easily the worst I've seen since I got here. Still kind of reeling from it to be honest.
[She let's out a breath. ...It was just hard to see everyone at each others throats like that. She couldn't help but just feel powerless to stop things here and back at home.]
So let's just not be okay together for awhile... Or next week or something. When we can can actually get out of bed.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Voice
No, no, no.
[Gosh. It's a good thing she's kind of used to the both of them missing some sort of mark at this point.]
I - I woke up.
Yesterday.
For the first time since-
[Since she died. It was still hard to think about.]
-I got your letter.
-And you said you'd understand if-
And that's not what I wanted... I just focused on that.
Voice
[Oh, ow, that hurt to just... straight out say. He feels it wrench in his chest- he sucks in a shuddery breath, trying to keep it together. ]
Ruby, you dying is more important than anything else. It's- you can't just gloss over that. I know you like to do the putting everything aside to focus on other people thing, but this was a big one to ignore. I don't-
[He didn't want to learn that way. To watch it happen with no warning that it was coming. He's never going to get rid of that image rolling around in his head- of Neo stabbing her over and over. ]
Something happening to you would never not be important to me. I just - were you ever planning on telling me? Or would you have been happier me being kept in the dark?
Voice
Because I didn't take what was happening to either of you seriously enough.
Because I couldn't save you from you dying.
Because I couldn't get away from her after she warned me to avoid her this month.
I couldn't stop her from dying either.
It all boils back down to I couldn't do anything for anyone.
[Gosh it didn't make her feel any better to say it out loud. If just compounded how miserable it made her feel.]
I didn't mean to-
[She didn't want to live with the image of either of them dying either. To feel responsible in some shape or form for what happened to them, but here she was.]
I was... I was going to... I just needed a little time.
I'm sorry.
I'm just so sorry.
I was so close...
I messed everything up so bad.
Voice
Ruby. Who made it your job to do any of that? And don't tell me it's a Huntress thing because there's a lot of you here now and I don't see the rest of them tearing themselves apart trying to save literally everyone. You can't do it. You're just hurting yourself trying. You're not- you're not infallible and no one is expecting you to be.
[He worried that one day she is going to snap under the weight of all of the everything she puts herself under and then there will be no saving her at all. He lets out a slow, unsteady breath - putting aside all the hurt he's feeling to help her.]
You didn't mess anything up. It's- well, it's not okay. You still died and I had to find out in the worst way possible. But it's not- it doesn't change anything, okay? I still love you, nothing can change that. I'm just- I'm worried about you.
Voice
...I made a promise to you both.
I made it my job to...
[It hits her like a ton of bricks that she couldn't be expected to just make everything right. There isn't much wind left in her sails to take out they're motionless now.]
But-
I-
I didn't want you to die.
I had to do something.
[She doesn't really have a counter to it. He had pegged really well there. There's a sigh and she slowly moves to sit herself up on the bed.]
Okay.
I love you too.
I'm sorry, I should have told you right away. It's just been so hard.
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You did stop me. It was always going to end the way it did. I'm just grateful you got to me before I could actually kill anyone. Before I could kill you. Heck, I would have killed Jon if you hadn't shown up. You kept your promise there.
[It was... terrible what happened, but it's better than the alternative. ]
This whole month has been hard. [No avoiding that fact. He leans back on the headboard of his bed.] It's... just. Look, I have no place berating you for keeping secrets. Not after the Neo thing. [Though, damnit, if he had acted when he could, they wouldn't be having this conversation. ] I... I get it. I don't like it, but I get it.
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She considers his words and she pauses to let her breathing calm down. He had a point... She hated to admit it because it meant there was nothing she could have done to stop him from dying.
There’s a hint of relief at the thought that she had kept her promise. It wasn’t much but it was a step in the right direction.]
I did what I could... I didn’t want you to have that on your conscience. Not with everything else.
[She makes a small “hm” noise in agreement.
She pauses briefly than decides to turn the feed to video. She’s a mess, she hasn’t got much sleep and it’s obvious that on top of the crying that she’s sick as a dog. But there’s a hint of that familiar resolve in her eyes mixed with all the pain and remorse.
I know... it doesn’t mean much, but-
I didn’t mean to keep it from you. I don’t want to keep secrets from you. I just... reacted and I reacted really poorly.
I trust you and I want you to be able to trust me too.
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[Genuinely, he is. He knows how much stock she puts in her faith in others, and the fact she had to take him down to save her own life must have hurt. That isn't lost on him. He flicks on his video feed in turn- he... really doesn't look all that much better. He's slept a little better, thanks to Fern's magical calm candle but the deathflu sure isn't abating any time soon.
He offers her a little smile all the same. ]
I do trust you. A lot more than most people here. And it's not like I didn't keep things from you, either. [What with the whole Neo poison and everything.] I- I think you're allowed to react poorly when you come back from the dead. Let's just... not any more, okay? Cards on the table, no more secrets.
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[She frowns. The last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt him. Seeing him like that and knowing the only way to stop him was with force had hurt more than she wanted to admit.]
I'll get by. If you say it helped then it was worth it as far as I'm concerned.
I'm sorry I had to... Well I'm sorry I had to do a lot of things that day.
[It does make her feel a bit better to see him alive and as well as one can be considering the deathflu. She had watched the trial but... Well she couldn't bring herself to say anything.]
It means the world to hear that right now, honestly.
Okay. No more secrets, I promise.
[There's a brief pause.]
I'm going to have to get a second table for cards. We kind of have a full house and that makes for a lot of birthday cards.
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[He blinks, confused at how she got here. It takes him a few moments to go back through their conversation to find the turning she took to get her to this point. It gets a little snort of a laugh out of him.]
There is that. Pretty sure your house is full enough without surplus cards. I uh... met your uncle, by the way. Thankfully before everything went to hell in a handbasket. He seems - [DEEPLY TROUBLED] ... pretty cool.
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[Stabbed up, maimed and otherwise hurt from the last month. Even if she does have like a bajillion scars to show for it.]
Y'know.
[There's an awkward silence and just MOVING ON.]
I'm more worried about the table... The cards generally fit into a box.
[Her eyes brighten right up at the mention of Uncle Qrow. That was just the distraction she needed here.]
You met Uncle Qrow?
And you think he's just pretty cool?
I'll have you know he's like the coolest in the whole wide world!
Not that I don't think you're cool too, you definitely are.
But Uncle Qrow's that like really smelly but super endearing kind of cool.
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It's fine, we can have multiple tables.
[And oh. Oh, he has made an error here, he can tell. He suddenly has so many regrets. ]
...I'm getting the impression that you like your uncle a lot.
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Just a cute card table off to the side. That would be pretty cool.
[Her brighten up immensely.]
Who do you think taught me how me how to fight? And make weapons? And bend the rules. And all the best places to take. And helped me figure out what I wanted to do with my life. That's the guy.
[She manages to reign in it a little.]
He can be a little protective of me and Yang, but I hope you both got along.
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[A smile does cross his face. This is... nice. That she had such a positive role model in her life. Someone she could look up to no matter what. It makes him miss Eugene. ]
We got along fine. We- uh, wandered around the labyrinth, saw some memories. Talked a lot.
[And Varian realised how deeply broken Qrow is, but he's broken in a way Varian can understand only too well.]
I don't think I made the worse impression ever. He didn't threaten me to not come near you again or anything.
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[The point of this card table.
Ruby's head.
She either doesn't realize or doesn't really care how much Varian and Qrow might have in common. Or she might just have a soft spot for the type.]
Yeah. The Labrynth seems like a place he'd hang out in. I'm glad you both got along at least.
...And you know what I'd say that's pretty high praise coming from him. Good job, bud!
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[Honey.
HONEY.]
It was probably less fun with the fog and the traumatic memories and everything, but you know, it's Deerington. You kind of have to just accept the awful stuff at this point.
Yeah? I guess I can take that.
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[Sweety.
SWEETY.]
Okay. Good point. But there were still monsters to fight and people to look out for? So it wasn't all awful. ...But yeah, I guess that's a good point.
Or he could just be waiting for the right moment to strike. That's always a possibility too.
But I like to think he'd tell me if he was doing something like that.
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Your idea of fun and my idea of fun when it comes to monsters is very different.
... I'm not even sure how I would be able to deal with that. He said his Sembelence is like... bad luck, right? Literally bad luck?
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I still want to put the first card on it. Whether it's imaginary or not. My points still stands!
I know, I know. That's why we're working on your cardio. I get it.
[She chews on her lip thinking that one over.]
Yeah. That's his Semblance, but I don't think dealing with it is the right way to think about it.
It's a part of him but it's not the most important part. Underneath that grumpiest grouch exterior is probably the strongest, kindest and most compassionate person I know. Or he's at least in the top five. I don't know anyone who cares more about the people around him than he does and he'll talk like it's because he's worried about his Semblance, but it's so much more than that. He's so much more than that.
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Pass for the entirety of August on account of the fact I want to hide in my lab and avoid humanity.
[He just wants to be sad and hate himself for a little while okay. She talks about her uncle and it brings a soft smile to his face. That's the Ruby-est way to put that. Honestly, Varian felt he understood Qrow quite a bit after their conversation. There was a mutual mess there, under the surface. ]
I'm sure he appreciates that you think that. It probably helps him to hear it once in a while.
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[With a terrifying doll tea party to troll her boyfriend. That's just who she is.]
Okay. Deal. That's fair. You're going to have to deal with me coming over still, if that's okay. I'm kind of some off shoot second time around humanity. That's gotta be an exception your plan.
[Look. She will use the forbidden knowledge she picked up to her own advantage. Varian was one of the few people she could really joke around that a bit with.]
I hope so. He's family. I couldn't look at him any other way.
[She pauses awkwardly, rubbing at the back of her head. She knew he was taking what happened over July hard. It's why she pushed away her own problems to try to help. It was a mistake but she was still trying her best to help.]
And... If it helps. I kind of feel the same way about you.
I still see the good you're capable of.
I love you.
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[He lets out a soft hum, tilting his head as if in deep thought.]
I suppose that does mean you count as not-regular humanity. I guess I can make an exception for you.
[His smile fades- just a fraction. It doesn't go away completely, it's just a little softer. A little sadder. He's really struggling to see the good in him after the mess of July. ]
...Thank you. I- it might take me a little longer to see that again. [Not that he was all that good at seeing it before this.] I love you, too.
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[It would probably sound more ominous if she wasn’t doing a ridiculous voice.]
I’d appreciate it. Saves breaking and entering all the time.
[She sees his smile soften and she tries brighten hers up. It’s a little slower than normal. There’s been a lot of sadness this month she’s been trying to cope with.]
That’s fine. It’s okay to not be okay. A wise alchemist once said that. Just take it a step at a time. I’m here for you.
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[He is not.
He lets out a slow breath. She's right, hell, he'd said it himself and he knows he was right, too. It's what he needs, right now, the chance to just not be okay for a little while. He's tired and sad and so very scared that this town could do this again. Bring out the worst in him and have him hurt the people he cares about again. ]
Y-yeah. I think I just need that for a little while. It was a really, really awful month. Thank you, I'll- well, I'll do my best to be there for you, too.
[As much of a goddamn mess he is at the moment, anyway. ]
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It was... Easily the worst I've seen since I got here. Still kind of reeling from it to be honest.
[She let's out a breath. ...It was just hard to see everyone at each others throats like that. She couldn't help but just feel powerless to stop things here and back at home.]
So let's just not be okay together for awhile... Or next week or something. When we can can actually get out of bed.
I know you'll do just that. I appreciate it.
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